Political Crossfire Forums

Gryff1nd0r · Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 2277 Location: Cambridge, MA

Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

LostSoul3412 · Joined: 11 Feb 2005 Posts: 7657

Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

This same thing happened between my ex-girlfriend and her best friend while we were dating (me and my ex, not me and her friend). Her friend was a known and open lesbian, but at the same time, would subtly find ways to flirt with my ex. Things like, rubbing up against her in public, always feeling compelled to touch her, and even kiss her (on the forehead, cheek, and hand) when I wasn't there. I didn't get involved, but I gave advice... I figured that wasn't my place to get in between her and her friend since I didn't want to ruin their friendship and neither did my ex.

In the end, things got out of control. After my ex and I broke up, her friend went all-out after her. In the end, my ex ended up cutting herself off from her friend, and in the end, it got so bad that it ruined the friendship.

My advice, talk to her. Sit her down, just the two of you, and tell her to knock it off if it's bothering you that much. If she listens, great, problem solved. If she doesn't, well, that just shows how good a friend she was anyway.

cap'n queasy · Joined: 15 May 2004 Posts: 34968

Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

Re-evaluate your friendship.

That's really flaky.

Enoch · Joined: 29 Aug 2005 Posts: 8465

cap'n queasy wrote: Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

Re-evaluate your friendship.

That's really flaky.

As rare as this is...I agree with Cap'n. (I know, cap'n, your shocked ;-) ).

For someone who, herself, is trusting you to keep her secret this really doesn't seem like an appropriate way for her to act. Talk to her, and if it doesn't improve, you may need to re-evaluate what she means to you as a friend. You don't need to out her, but you don't need to put up with that either.

Tetracide · Joined: 02 Oct 2004 Posts: 4449 Location: California

Gryff1nd0r wrote: Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.
Why?

Dr. Wojtyla · Joined: 23 Jun 2006 Posts: 2527 Location: Watican City

Enoch wrote: cap'n queasy wrote: Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

Re-evaluate your friendship.

That's really flaky.

As rare as this is...I agree with Cap'n. (I know, cap'n, your shocked ;-) ).

For someone who, herself, is trusting you to keep her secret this really doesn't seem like an appropriate way for her to act. Talk to her, and if it doesn't improve, you may need to re-evaluate what she means to you as a friend. You don't need to out her, but you don't need to put up with that either.

Why do you care?

Enoch · Joined: 29 Aug 2005 Posts: 8465

Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Enoch wrote: cap'n queasy wrote: Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

Re-evaluate your friendship.

That's really flaky.

As rare as this is...I agree with Cap'n. (I know, cap'n, your shocked ;-) ).

For someone who, herself, is trusting you to keep her secret this really doesn't seem like an appropriate way for her to act. Talk to her, and if it doesn't improve, you may need to re-evaluate what she means to you as a friend. You don't need to out her, but you don't need to put up with that either.

Why do you care? She asked for advice, and I provided some.

Gdawg007 · Joined: 06 Jul 2004 Posts: 14346 Location: Albuquerque, NM

Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

Well, to be honest, I've found that often times the difference between a heterosexual relationship and a true friendship, regardless of gender, often comes down to physical intimacy. Maybe she does like you in that way, and while I'm not saying its an easy situation, it's not necessarily the end of your friendship. I don't know what I would do, but I would say that consider all your options before giving up a good friend, because those are very rare.

Quote: See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

Perhaps you are posting because you are simply looking for advice. Nothing wrong with that. I haven't experienced this from a homosexual standpoint, but I have from a heterosexual standpoint (best friend decided she liked me when I didn't like her back that same way) and it wasn't easy then, but at least there were not other complications (like her being a man, for example). We're still friends, though the situation did put some distance between us that wasn't there before. Wish I had better advice or something to tell you, but alas, I don't. Hopefully someone with better experience than I can help you, if that's what you want.

F'losrix · Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:41 am Post subject:

Gryff:

You don't have to put up with her behavior. I suggest two courses of action:

1) Talk to her privately, make it crystal clear one more time that while you don't have a problem with other people being gay, you yourself aren't and would appreciate it if she would respect that, both privately and publicly

2) After doing this, the next time she baits you in public, you're free to forcefully declare the same in front of others. You won't exactly be outing her, but damn close and she ought to finally get the message.

A gay person who won't take 'no' for an answer can be just as annoying as some randy het male who won't. Even more uncomfortable if it's someone trying to take advantage of a friendship. It's rude and you don't have to necessarily be nice about it once you've made clear your lack of interest and they continue to apply pressure - regardless of your orientation.

Dr. Wojtyla · Joined: 23 Jun 2006 Posts: 2527 Location: Watican City

Enoch wrote: Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Enoch wrote: cap'n queasy wrote: Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

Re-evaluate your friendship.

That's really flaky.

As rare as this is...I agree with Cap'n. (I know, cap'n, your shocked ;-) ).

For someone who, herself, is trusting you to keep her secret this really doesn't seem like an appropriate way for her to act. Talk to her, and if it doesn't improve, you may need to re-evaluate what she means to you as a friend. You don't need to out her, but you don't need to put up with that either.

Why do you care? She asked for advice, and I provided some.

Yeah, but why do you care enough to answer? If you can't give a reason then I don't see why you're posting.

StrangerWitCandy · Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 4668 Location: Fairfax, VA

Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Enoch wrote: Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Enoch wrote: cap'n queasy wrote: Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

Re-evaluate your friendship.

That's really flaky.

As rare as this is...I agree with Cap'n. (I know, cap'n, your shocked ;-) ).

For someone who, herself, is trusting you to keep her secret this really doesn't seem like an appropriate way for her to act. Talk to her, and if it doesn't improve, you may need to re-evaluate what she means to you as a friend. You don't need to out her, but you don't need to put up with that either.

Why do you care? She asked for advice, and I provided some.

Yeah, but why do you care enough to answer? If you can't give a reason then I don't see why you're posting.

Umm... why are YOU posting? There's nothing weird about Enoch's response, but there is something very odd about your responses to Enoch.

You have contributed absolutely nothing to this thread except the apparent belief that Enoch shouldn't be caring enough to post.

Enoch · Joined: 29 Aug 2005 Posts: 8465

Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Enoch wrote: Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Enoch wrote: cap'n queasy wrote: Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

Re-evaluate your friendship.

That's really flaky.

As rare as this is...I agree with Cap'n. (I know, cap'n, your shocked ;-) ).

For someone who, herself, is trusting you to keep her secret this really doesn't seem like an appropriate way for her to act. Talk to her, and if it doesn't improve, you may need to re-evaluate what she means to you as a friend. You don't need to out her, but you don't need to put up with that either.

Why do you care? She asked for advice, and I provided some.

Yeah, but why do you care enough to answer? If you can't give a reason then I don't see why you're posting. Clever :roll:

Gdawg007 · Joined: 06 Jul 2004 Posts: 14346 Location: Albuquerque, NM

Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Enoch wrote: Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Enoch wrote: cap'n queasy wrote: Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

Re-evaluate your friendship.

That's really flaky.

As rare as this is...I agree with Cap'n. (I know, cap'n, your shocked ;-) ).

For someone who, herself, is trusting you to keep her secret this really doesn't seem like an appropriate way for her to act. Talk to her, and if it doesn't improve, you may need to re-evaluate what she means to you as a friend. You don't need to out her, but you don't need to put up with that either.

Why do you care? She asked for advice, and I provided some.

Yeah, but why do you care enough to answer? If you can't give a reason then I don't see why you're posting.

Anyone can post if they want to. Stop asking and either post on topic or don't post at all.

Dr. Wojtyla · Joined: 23 Jun 2006 Posts: 2527 Location: Watican City

Gdawg007 wrote: Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Enoch wrote: Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Enoch wrote: cap'n queasy wrote: Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

Re-evaluate your friendship.

That's really flaky.

As rare as this is...I agree with Cap'n. (I know, cap'n, your shocked ;-) ).

For someone who, herself, is trusting you to keep her secret this really doesn't seem like an appropriate way for her to act. Talk to her, and if it doesn't improve, you may need to re-evaluate what she means to you as a friend. You don't need to out her, but you don't need to put up with that either.

Why do you care? She asked for advice, and I provided some.

Yeah, but why do you care enough to answer? If you can't give a reason then I don't see why you're posting.

Anyone can post if they want to. Stop asking and either post on topic or don't post at all.

Thank you. Do you mind if I quote you on some other threads?

Dr. Wojtyla · Joined: 23 Jun 2006 Posts: 2527 Location: Watican City

StrangerWitCandy wrote:

Umm... why are YOU posting? There's nothing weird about Enoch's response, but there is something very odd about your responses to Enoch.

You have contributed absolutely nothing to this thread except the apparent belief that Enoch shouldn't be caring enough to post.

Here's why.

"Why are you posting." Damn, I should've used that on him. So simple!

Tetracide · Joined: 02 Oct 2004 Posts: 4449 Location: California

Dr. Wojtyla wrote: StrangerWitCandy wrote:

Umm... why are YOU posting? There's nothing weird about Enoch's response, but there is something very odd about your responses to Enoch.

You have contributed absolutely nothing to this thread except the apparent belief that Enoch shouldn't be caring enough to post.

Here's why.

"Why are you posting." Damn, I should've used that on him. So simple!
Adhere to what Gdawg007 said. Stop trolling Enoch or action will be taken against your account.

cap'n queasy · Joined: 15 May 2004 Posts: 34968

Enoch wrote: cap'n queasy wrote: Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

Re-evaluate your friendship.

That's really flaky.

As rare as this is...I agree with Cap'n. (I know, cap'n, your shocked ;-) ).

For someone who, herself, is trusting you to keep her secret this really doesn't seem like an appropriate way for her to act. Talk to her, and if it doesn't improve, you may need to re-evaluate what she means to you as a friend. You don't need to out her, but you don't need to put up with that either.

I don't see why you think I would be shocked. I think we agree on probably 80% of issues.

Anyway the girl is obviously an emotionally disturbed flake bomb.

Run.

Æ · Posted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 12:19 am Post subject: Re: my best friend

Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?
If she is your friend and you sincerely ask her to respect you in public and she refuses to then it is time to move on to another friend.

BTW It's nice to see you stop by. Mel has done his own vanishing act.

Babylon_Horuv · Joined: 15 Jun 2006 Posts: 2008

Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

She probably has a crush on you and is hurt that you are not attracted to her. You need to talk to her about how you feel about the way she talks.

Gdawg007 · Joined: 06 Jul 2004 Posts: 14346 Location: Albuquerque, NM

Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Gdawg007 wrote: Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Enoch wrote: Dr. Wojtyla wrote: Enoch wrote: cap'n queasy wrote: Gryff1nd0r wrote: Just came out to me.

I didn't see it coming.. I'm not a very perseptive person I guess. But she has done SO much stuff with guys, I was pretty much shocked.

She then went on to tell me that she has always been positive that I am gay and then sort of trailed off as if giving me space to say, "Oh, yeah, I'm gay too."

But I didn't, because I'm not. I get the distinct impression that she WANTS me to be, and as thick skulled as I am, if I can see that, then I'm probably right. Its really annoying because she's my best friend and I really would rather her be straight at this point.

See, nobody knows but me, and she doesn't want anyone to know. But when we are in public, she makes comments trying to prove to everyone that she is NOT gay, and she makes ME look like the gay one! For example, I was joking around and saying funny pickup lines (not to anyone in particular, I was just sort of saying them to everyone at the table). She blurts out, "Gryff, you had better not try one of those on me or I'll punch you in the face."........................ aaaaaakward. And of course she just randomly calls me gay all the time, and it pisses me off because I happen to know that SHE'S gay, and she's trusting me to keep it a secret, but at the same time she's constantly hinting to people around us that I'M gay.

I'm stressed out about classes and stuff anyway right now, so I'm just venting. I feel weird about all this. It would be fine if she would just come out to the world, but no, it has to be our little secret, and that's what makes things so weird. When she "jokes" around in public saying that I'm gay, I feel really akward for a couple reasons: one, there are plenty of lesbians on our team, and I'm friends with plenty of them, and it sort of offends me when anyone says "gay" like its a disgrace; two, because she IS gay, but hiding it, I can't comfortably joke back and call her gay because she would probably get upset and act really akward.

Ok I don't even know why I' m posting this here. I gotta go. Comments?

Re-evaluate your friendship.

That's really flaky.

As rare as this is...I agree with Cap'n. (I know, cap'n, your shocked ;-) ).

For someone who, herself, is trusting you to keep her secret this really doesn't seem like an appropriate way for her to act. Talk to her, and if it doesn't improve, you may need to re-evaluate what she means to you as a friend. You don't need to out her, but you don't need to put up with that either.

Why do you care? She asked for advice, and I provided some.

Yeah, but why do you care enough to answer? If you can't give a reason then I don't see why you're posting.

Anyone can post if they want to. Stop asking and either post on topic or don't post at all.

Thank you. Do you mind if I quote you on some other threads?

Yes, I do mind. If you have a problem with a post, report it and we'll deal with it. That's why we are here. Don't try and fix it yourself, or you may wind up getting in trouble when there was no need to.