Political Crossfire Forums

[sublime]

The Ant & The Grasshopper

"OLD VERSION":
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
************************************************************
"MODERN VERSION":
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green".

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome" Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill "no pants" Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican

[Green]

The ant works hard, during the summer, and the pig hires the chicken to work hard for him at the lowest wage possible, but cannot put the chicken in the cycle of debt because the government restrains the corporate greed of the pig. The grasshopper cannot get a job because economic factors keep 4% of the population from getting a job. The ant pays some of the money he got in taxes, along with the other animals fortunate enough to get jobs. The grasshopper is then able to live through the winter.

Now the pig's friend is the president. Previously, the wolves were attacking innocent animals, so all the animals joined together, and beat the wolves. The president then said that the dogs were going to attack the animals. The president said that the dogs had Weapons of mass Destruction, and they would someday destroy all of the animals. The animals invaded, and they quickly beat the dogs. Once they had the dog's land, they found no WMDs, and they had to build a new government for the flies that lived
under the dogs. To do this, the president payed the pig billions of dollars, while pig sent the chicken to the dog's former land to rebuild the government. The chicken was paid ten dollars. While the chicken was rebuilding, the wolves came to the place where the chicken was rebuilding, and started killing the flies and the occupying forces.

To pay for these expenses, the president took away the grass hopper's subsidy, and charged the ant more taxes. Also, the president gave the Owls the right to eat anybody if they even looked like a wolf. Many innocent animals were killed because they looked like a wolf.

The animals got very angry, and eventually elected another predident that was a liberal. The liberal president said that he would pay the pig to return the grasshopper's subsidy. The occupation stopped, and the wolves took over the flies, and brutally oppressed the flies. Many more animals than who died in the first place dies because of the withdrawal. The liberal then banned the bee's stingers. The bees did not like this at all, and when a wolf was eating the rabbit, they could not sting the wolf to drive him back.

The grasshopper also reported that he was not getting his subsidy. The pig was keeping all of the money to himself.

The animals were again angry, and then elected a libertarian, but then the poor did not get their sibsidy, and the animals that were carring for those who could not get jobs because of natural economic reasons were again angry. The libertarian president also became corrupt and started giving their tax money to the pig.........................

Therefore, I vote independent.

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

LOL to Numer one, boo to number two, libretarians wouldednt screw that up.

[Green]

Ragnar Danneskjold wrote: LOL to Numer one, boo to number two, libretarians wouldednt screw that up.

The Republicans screwed up. At first, they were not all that diffrent from today's libertarians.

Then the GOP got started up and they were very corru........

[Nathyn]

sublime wrote: The Ant & The Grasshopper

"OLD VERSION":
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
************************************************************
"MODERN VERSION":
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green".

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome" Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill "no pants" Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican
I think I like the old version better.

In any case, what's there to debate here? This thread should either be sent to political humor or locked.

I mean, I can't see how we're going to debate whether or not to vote Republican, based upon your little story.

Oops, it was in the political humor forum. :shock:

God, I get so lost in these forums. :lol:

[Whitefields]

sublime wrote: The Ant & The Grasshopper

"OLD VERSION":
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
************************************************************
"MODERN VERSION":
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green".

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome" Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill "no pants" Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican

Hee hee. This made me laugh. It makes a good point.