Political Crossfire Forums

[britboy]

The purpose of the below story is firstly to highlight the absurdity of people views about guns, and secondly to have some fun. All the views here have actually been stated on these various boards, in seriousness, by people. This is how it sounds to the, normal, rest of us:

The names and characters are purely fictitious..I kid you not -- these are the policies people on this very board suggest ... well actually just one person but you get the point ..


Junior Perd and Mr and Missus Perd sat down with their son on his birthday. They had a little cake, it was kinda sweet. The son had opened almost all his presents, he had a racing set, an American football (yea!), and one big present left.

'I hope its a fishing rod, I hope its a fishing rod' he was excitedly thinking and he ripped the wrapping paper open.

What is it dad? Is it a fishing rod?

'No son, it's a Glock 32 .357 with a 12.5 mm travel for discharge, and the capability of killing many, many men. Oh yea, it's a bad-ass weapon .. oh, killing men in self defence of course I meant'

'er .. What?' said Junior Perd. 'Its a gun, son. You've reached that age -- it's yours.'. 'Jesus. I mean, Er, thanks.'

Junior Perd starts unwrapping the gun. He can barely hold it. His dad comments 'If you can't lift the thing and it's ammo it's going back to the store -- the gun should be nationally illegal in that case'.
'Er .. why. What? How? I mean, OK.' answers his son.

His dad suddenly shouts 'Jesus son don't point that thing at me it's fully loaded!'.

His son drops the gun, his wife screams. 'Jesus honey, you gave him a loaded gun'.

Junior starts crying. His wife comments 'Honey, you could have got us killed'.

'All guns are loaded son. Always. However the gun wouldn't have killed us. Junior would have killed us.'

Junior looks shocked. 'I'd have killed you dad? What do you mean?'

'Guns don't kill people. People kill people .... Then again...' his dad drifted away for a second,thinking 'I guess the wrapping paper could also have killed us.' 'Jesus son keep that paper away from me'.

His son looked at him quizzicly. 'er .. if the gun is always full, why do they sell ammo for it then?'

'Don't argue with me son. That gun is loaded. Even when it's not got bullets in it, it's loaded.'

'Er .. what? Has it got bullets in it or not'?

'It always has son. But you get some more bullets, later. Real ones, not pretend ones.'

'So it's loaded with pretend bullets always, even when it's got real bullets in there as well? er, Is it a toy?'

'No it's a tool that hopefully will never be used'

'Jesus dad that sounds rubbish. why didn't you just buy me an ironing board with lumps in it? A tool that should never be used? What kind of a lame-ass present is that?'

Perd stood up, saluted, and put his hand on his heart .. 'It's one we have a right to choose to have'

'But you just gave it to me'

'Yes but you CHOSE to open the wrapping paper didn't you! Ha! You chose you chose'.

'Er .. yea .. ok Dad'.

His mother whispers to the boy 'Sorry son ..' rolling her eyes 'he made me have one too' nodding to a pristine, never opened M1A1 .30 Caliber Carbine in the corner - still in the wrapping paper, a little tag on it 'happy anniversary honey -- I love you XXX'.

Junior Perd turns to his mother 'Hey mom, you remember, you were going to give me $200 for my birthday, I really need the cash'.

'Sorry dear, instead we bought you this extra present'.

Junior Perd unwraps the present, half excited, half gutted. In it is a empty metal box with a combination lock on the front.

'Well' said his dad 'Thats to store your gun in. You're a man now'.

'I want the 200 bucks' stamped his son 'I wanted to donate it to charity'

'Thats completely irresponsible, Donating it to charity? Jesus son I've been trying to teach you responsibility for 5 years now' his dad answered 'You've got a gun -- show some responsibility like I've been teaching you for years, and lock it away under your bed hopefully never to be seen again, as I know you hate hunting/the range'.

'Yea' Junior answered angrily 'you spent hours 'teaching me responsibility' when all the other kids were out playing football and taking care of their pets' Junior retorted, but he knew it was no use.

Junior resigned himself to the 'hopefully never used tool'.

'OK' said Junior, grabbing all his presents 'Well I'm off to show this lot to Jimmy down the road'

'You're not taking that gun anywhere, you haven't got a CCW. Thats staying here'

'But I want to show my friends my presents'

'Firstly, you no longer have the freedom to do that, you CHOSE to give that freedom away when you got that gun, which incidentally, has not affected your freedom at all, so you haven't lost any freedom whatsoever, in fact that gun protects your freedom.'

'What? Er .. but you just gave me the ...'

'Be quiet Junior. The gun has not restricted your freedom in anyway.'

'But I want to show my presents to Jimmy'

'Well you're not free to. Although this loss of liberty is not actually a loss of liberty. And your freedom is the same as it was before. Kind of.'

'So I've got a loaded gun thats empty but it's not, I can't show Jimmy all my presents even though I haven't got this restriction applied to me and my freedom isn't affected, dad, I'm confused. At least tell me who can I point the thing at'

'No-one unless you're prepared to use it and are in danger'

'OK, so, er, what about if someone is stealing my car stereo, when I'm old enough to have a car. I'm not in danger.'

'Well you should point the gun at them then. But no-one else. er, off the top of my head.'

'But you just said'

'Shut up son you're confusing dad here. Listen, er, er, you can only point the gun at burglers, er, anyone stealing the car stereo, oh, government officials trying to turn you into a slave, and police men'

'A slave?'

'Precisely. Read history son. Sooner or later, we're all going to be chained together wearing just loin cloths as government officials whip us'

'er .. ok .. whatever you say' Junior whispered. 'And Police men'??

'Well, only if they want to take your gun away'

'Because I'm pointing it at them'

'No if you're pointing it at them you are a criminal and you should have your gun taken away'

'But you just said.. ' Junior was bewildered 'Listen -- am I allowed to shoot people or not?'

'Not the car stereo stealer. But the rest, yup. If you feel threatened by them, or the politicians change the law which they can't do by the way'

'Can I have a notepad, this is confusing. You're now saying politicians can't change the law?'

His dad answered 'They CAN change laws, unless they were special ones written by people 200 years old then if they change them they are criminals, which means technically you have to turn into a criminal and shoot the policeman who is doing an illegal act so he is a criminal, so shoot him so you can continue to use the empty, but loaded gun to shoot proper real criminals which is your right.'

'What?'

'Its a long story. By the way you've just been promoted' his dad answered.

'What?'

'Yup, you're a Corporal in the organised militia now.'

'Oh. Fantastic.'

Juniors mother starts gently crying ...


:lol:


Great guys -- sound like you've just about got it all sorted over there ...

:lol:

[Blinky]

hehehe

[lilwolf]

different.... :slp:

[Wolverine]

I read two sentences and relized this had nothing to do with GC forum, just another story hour from our freind britboy. :roll:
Meh, reported.

[Green]

This is a cross between anti-gun propaganda, and a 1950 sitcom, nither of witch should ever see the light of day.

[Demonic Spoon]

Wolverine wrote: I read two sentences and relized this had nothing to do with GC forum, just another story hour from our freind britboy. :roll:
Meh, reported.

Flaming a thread before you even read it. Nice.

[Revenant]

boo

[LostSoul3412]

u phail, lol

:td:

[thintheherd]

The only absurdity was that tale.

[Wolverine]

Demonic Spoon wrote: Wolverine wrote: I read two sentences and relized this had nothing to do with GC forum, just another story hour from our friend britboy. :roll:
Meh, reported.

Flaming a thread before you even read it. Nice.
Maybe you haven't read his other story hours.


No one I know has ever gone through britboys ridiculous fantasy, I know that didn;t happen to me when I opened my first gun Christmas morning.
Maybe I was brainwashed into enjoying my .22. :roll:

Funny, brotboy doesn't own a gun, has only shot a .22, but he claims to know everything about every gun owner and how they act.

[britboy]

Wolverine wrote: Demonic Spoon wrote: Wolverine wrote: I read two sentences and relized this had nothing to do with GC forum, just another story hour from our friend britboy. :roll:
Meh, reported.

Flaming a thread before you even read it. Nice.
Maybe you haven't read his other story hours.


No one I know has ever gone through britboys ridiculous fantasy, I know that didn;t happen to me when I opened my first gun Christmas morning.
Maybe I was brainwashed into enjoying my .22. :roll:

Funny, brotboy doesn't own a gun, has only shot a .22, but he claims to know everything about every gun owner and how they act.

I thought you said you didn't read the thread Wolverine? Make up your mind!

[Wolverine]

I didn't, and I never said I did.

[lilwolf]

Demonic Spoon wrote: Wolverine wrote: I read two sentences and relized this had nothing to do with GC forum, just another story hour from our freind britboy. :roll:
Meh, reported.

Flaming a thread before you even read it. Nice.


I have read it and it is just like all the other bedtime stories and that's why I say it is the sameo...sameo!!!!!!!!!

[LostSoul3412]

lilwolf wrote: Demonic Spoon wrote: Wolverine wrote: I read two sentences and relized this had nothing to do with GC forum, just another story hour from our freind britboy. :roll:
Meh, reported.

Flaming a thread before you even read it. Nice.


I have read it and it is just like all the other bedtime stories and that's why I say it is the sameo...sameo!!!!!!!!!

Sameo-Lameo?

[agentkgb]

It's time that lady got divorced...

[Bill Brasky]

Uhhhh.........Okay.

[wyldejackyl]

Wow...boner story. If we had a "reality check" forum, it'd belong there.

[micfranklin]

This thread froze my computer...that's how bad it was.

[The Newb]

theres a story? where?

[Wolverine]

You mean you missed the explosions and zombies? Dude, you need glasses.