BastionOfSanity
Joined: 13 Sep 2005
Posts: 1729
Location: Massachusetts, New England Confederation
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| Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 11:03 pm Post subject: Damn terrorists thwarted again by the government! |
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> NEW YORK, Sept 19, 2006 -- A public school teacher was arrested
> today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to
> board a
> flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a
> slide
> rule, and a calculator.
>
> At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said
> he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
>
> He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
> carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us,"
> the Attorney General said. "They desire solutions by means and
> extremes,
> and
> sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.
>
> They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as
> 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator
> of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
> philanderer, Isosceles, used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every
> triangle'."
>
> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
> wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
> given us more fingers and toes."
>
> White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more
> intelligent or profound statement by the president.
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