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The pros and cons of being a communist (communist jokes)
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Green



Joined: 18 Apr 2006
Posts: 1459
Location: The State of America

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 4:57 pm    Post subject: The pros and cons of being a communist (communist jokes)  

Pros

Free food- "In communist Russia, you don't pay the restaurant bill, the restaurant bill pays you!"
No math home work- "In communist Russia, you don't solve math problems, the math problems solve you!"
Speed dial- "In communist Russia, you don't dial the phone number, the phone number dials you!"

Cons

Giant man eating chickens- "In communist Russia, you don't eat the chicken, the chicken eats you!"
Oppressive Horses- "In communist Russia, you don't ride the horse, the horse rides you!"
Intresting political forums- "In communist Russia, you don't read the political forum, the political forum reads you!"

Please put other jokes you can think of following the same form.
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Sid



Joined: 26 Oct 2004
Posts: 4612
Location: Kansas

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 5:13 pm    Post subject:  

Pro - infinate labor
"In communist Russia, you don't copy documents, documents copy YOU!"
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LostSoul3412



Joined: 10 Feb 2005
Posts: 8848

Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 8:04 pm    Post subject:  

Con - Slavery to cars. "In communist Russia, car drives you."

Con - Killer roads. "In communist Russia, road forks you."

Con - Life in the hands of leaders. "In communist Russia, leaders vote for you."

Pro - Pleasure from instruments. "In communist Russia, guitar plays you."

Con - Death by math. "In communist Russia, math subtracts you."
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Swandazi



Joined: 31 Mar 2006
Posts: 268

Posted: Sat May 20, 2006 5:43 pm    Post subject:  

Pros:
In communist russia you dont go to the bathroom the goverment goes to the bathroom for you

in communist russia you dont watch the goverment the goverment watches you

in communist russia you do as the communist russians do


Cons:

In communist russia nuclear scientists make as much as mcdonalds employees.

In communist russia the goverment doesnt die for you, you die for the goverment

In communist russia you dont have to build a house, because the goverment made you so poor you cant afford one

in communist russia you dont have to smoke weed your leader smokes it for you

in communist russia you dont have to use guns they communist russians use them on you.

in communist russia you dont have to pay taxes the taxes pay for you.

in communist russia you dont have to exercise no one does..

in communist russia the hockey teams suck

in communist russia you dont have to be cold, but the goverment wants you to be cold to be at equal status with your northern comrades.
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Doowstados



Joined: 04 Nov 2005
Posts: 281

Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 10:41 am    Post subject:  

Most of these are rather stupid >.>
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D@N



Joined: 30 Oct 2004
Posts: 498
Location: Victoria, British Columbia

Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 8:45 pm    Post subject:  

In America, you always trying to find the party; in Soviet Russia, the party is always trying to find you.
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Ragnar Danneskjold



Joined: 11 Oct 2005
Posts: 2628
Location: Mulligan's Valley

Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 9:20 pm    Post subject:  

D@N wrote: In America, you always trying to find the party; in Soviet Russia, the party is always trying to find you.


Thats the best in this thread.
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Ch33kY



Joined: 21 Sep 2005
Posts: 1281

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 3:18 am    Post subject:  

Sid wrote: Pro - infinate labor
"In communist Russia, you don't copy documents, documents copy YOU!"

LostSoul3412 wrote: Con - Slavery to cars. "In communist Russia, car drives you."

Con - Killer roads. "In communist Russia, road forks you."

Con - Life in the hands of leaders. "In communist Russia, leaders vote for you."

Pro - Pleasure from instruments. "In communist Russia, guitar plays you."

Con - Death by math. "In communist Russia, math subtracts you."

:lol:

Best ones.

Swandzi, don't try too hard ;)
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Revenant



Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 17815
Location: Bliss

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 1:00 pm    Post subject:  

In Soviet Russia, internet history deletes nervous kids searching for porn!

.....

I suck at this.
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Demonic Spoon



Joined: 20 Sep 2004
Posts: 6939
Location: Ohio

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 1:45 pm    Post subject:  

In Soviet Russia, computer turns you on.

In Soviet Russia, music listens to you

In Soviet Russa, dog humps you!
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Abood



Joined: 08 Jun 2006
Posts: 22

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 4:29 pm    Post subject:  

Quote: In America, you always trying to find the party; in Soviet Russia, the party is always trying to find you. LMFAO!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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bob.appleyard



Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Posts: 7718
Location: Manchestar, innit

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2006 7:48 pm    Post subject:  

D@N wrote: In America, you always trying to find the party; in Soviet Russia, the party is always trying to find you.

Now that's funny.
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Darth Tiberius



Joined: 19 Apr 2005
Posts: 2001
Location: Oxford

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 1:22 pm    Post subject:  

Demonic Spoon wrote: In Soviet Russia, computer turns you on.

In Soviet Russia, music listens to you

In Soviet Russa, dog humps you!

Actually the computer allready turns many people on.
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Alyssa M.



Joined: 05 Oct 2006
Posts: 57
Location: Montana

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 6:47 pm    Post subject:  

Doowstados wrote: Most of these are rather stupid >.> I agree
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agentkgb



Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Posts: 2241
Location: US

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 7:14 pm    Post subject:  

D@N wrote: In America, you always trying to find the party; in Soviet Russia, the party is always trying to find you.
:lol: Best one definitely.
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Piotr



Joined: 25 Sep 2005
Posts: 491

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 7:11 am    Post subject:  

Wrestling

In Soviet Russia, the fool pities you!


Political

In Soviet Russia, Uncle Sam doesn't need you, you need Uncle Sam!
hm...that sounds like Cold War propaganda...


Judicial

In Soviet Russia, you don't go to the police, the police comes to you! And you don't get trials, the trials get you. And, you don't reform the government, the government reforms you.


Journalism

In Soviet Russia, you don't write about the Truth, the Truth writes about you!


Nutritional

In Soviet Russia, food isn't free, you're free of food!


Relaitvity Theory

In Soviet Russia, you're not moving away from the Earth, the Earth is moving away from you!


Scientific

In Soviet Russia, you don't move faster than light, light moves faster than you!
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Korimyr the Rat



Joined: 11 Jan 2006
Posts: 983
Location: Wyoming

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 8:14 am    Post subject:  

Ragnar Danneskjold wrote: Thats the best in this thread.

Of course it is. That's the original joke that all of the others are based on. :)
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agentkgb



Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Posts: 2241
Location: US

Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 7:27 am    Post subject:  

Piotr wrote: you don't reform the government, the government reforms you.
:lol:
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