Political Crossfire Forums

[Ch33kY]

Quote: Spurred on by his viewing of pre-dawn television, 41 year-old printer salesman Andrew Smithers has found God. Smithers says that the conversion process began at 12.00pm Wednesday with the Channel Ten chat show Face to Face. “At first I thought it was just an informative discussion of world events conducted by people I could relate to,” says Smithers. “But I soon realized there was more to it. They kept talking about a very special man with an important message for us all, and that man wasn’t Anthony Robbins.” Smithers hopes to one day be the guy on the rightInitially resistant to matters spiritual (his only contact with a higher power being stipulated by his local chapter of A.A.), Smithers began to ask himself some challenging questions.


Smithers hopes to one day be the guy on the right

“I’d been wrestling with feelings of loneliness and inadequacy for years, which I always attributed to weak abs. But this new schedule of high-quality programming let me know that God has a plan for us all. He seemed to be calling me to lie on the couch at 1 a.m., eating a jumbo-sized bag of M & Ms.” Soon, Smithers’ nights were filled with writing cheques to surgically altered American evangelists; his days with low-productivity work.

What started with insomnia and self-loathing became a journey of self-discovery, beginning at midnight each night and ending only with the final credits of Benny Hinn Ministries. “It seems like a contradiction that God occupies the same timeslot as The George Foreman Grill and reruns of Margaret Cho’s sitcom,” says Smithers, “But then combining rap, rock and soul into one hit music act seems like a contradiction too. And that doesn’t stop Christian ad sensation DC Talk.”

Pastor Jim Major, of the Christian Television Association, says the Church sees television as a valuable recruiting tool. “With dwindling congregation numbers, anything that can reach a wide audience is useful to us. Although in this case we have to settle for something that reaches an audience of semi-employed losers.”


Source: Chaser News

I once brought a juicer from one of those late night commercials.

[snow]

Those juicers suck. :x

[connermt]

snow wrote: Those juicers suck. :x

As does most everything on late night TV
:wink:

[VBach37]

late-night comedy central is just fine! ([Adult Swim] is good too!)

[Ch33kY]

The juicer broke down a few months later. Anyone else converted to Christianity from late night TV? :-D

[connermt]

VBach37 wrote: late-night comedy central is just fine! ([Adult Swim] is good too!)
Yes - adult swim is great - that would be an exception!

[Shady]

Ch33kY wrote: The juicer broke down a few months later. Anyone else converted to Christianity from late night TV? :-D

How much do they pay?

[Ch33kY]

Shady wrote: Ch33kY wrote: The juicer broke down a few months later. Anyone else converted to Christianity from late night TV? :-D

How much do they pay?

Your soul.

[sLiPpY]

Ch33kY wrote: Quote: Spurred on by his viewing of pre-dawn television, 41 year-old printer salesman Andrew Smithers has found God. Smithers says that the conversion process began at 12.00pm Wednesday with the Channel Ten chat show Face to Face. “At first I thought it was just an informative discussion of world events conducted by people I could relate to,” says Smithers. “But I soon realized there was more to it. They kept talking about a very special man with an important message for us all, and that man wasn’t Anthony Robbins.” Smithers hopes to one day be the guy on the rightInitially resistant to matters spiritual (his only contact with a higher power being stipulated by his local chapter of A.A.), Smithers began to ask himself some challenging questions.


Smithers hopes to one day be the guy on the right

“I’d been wrestling with feelings of loneliness and inadequacy for years, which I always attributed to weak abs. But this new schedule of high-quality programming let me know that God has a plan for us all. He seemed to be calling me to lie on the couch at 1 a.m., eating a jumbo-sized bag of M & Ms.” Soon, Smithers’ nights were filled with writing cheques to surgically altered American evangelists; his days with low-productivity work.

What started with insomnia and self-loathing became a journey of self-discovery, beginning at midnight each night and ending only with the final credits of Benny Hinn Ministries. “It seems like a contradiction that God occupies the same timeslot as The George Foreman Grill and reruns of Margaret Cho’s sitcom,” says Smithers, “But then combining rap, rock and soul into one hit music act seems like a contradiction too. And that doesn’t stop Christian ad sensation DC Talk.”

Pastor Jim Major, of the Christian Television Association, says the Church sees television as a valuable recruiting tool. “With dwindling congregation numbers, anything that can reach a wide audience is useful to us. Although in this case we have to settle for something that reaches an audience of semi-employed losers.”


Source: Chaser News

I once brought a juicer from one of those late night commercials.

I think the "subject" was right on target attributing it to "weak abs" and should have figured out a way to resolve the "weak abs" issue.