Political Crossfire Forums

[eynon]

Here's what I've come up with so far:
1. Saddam Hussien would be forced to fight a Grizzly Bear during the half-time of the Super Bowl.
2. All Americans would have recieve free olive oil, bread, and health-care, paid for by the "generosity" of the Japanese and Saudi Arabian goverments.
3. Homeless Katrina Victims would be relocated to spacious new houses in our Iraqi colony of Chenneyopolis.
4. As the Senates' oldest member Ted Stevens would be allowed to have a big stick, which he could bang on the Senate floor when-ever he wanted.
5. We'd all have Jury duty at least 3 times a year......(Roman Juries had 51 members)
6. abortions would be legal up to the 68th trimester, fetus would not be considered viable until they either entered boot-camp or started paying taxes.
7. Instead of US factory jobs being outsourced to China, Chinese would be imported to US factories.
8. Every day a total of 30 doves, 12 sheep, and 2 bulls would be sacrificed at the Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson momuments. The park-rangers who ran the sites would be ordained priests.
9. Any southerners who refused to ackowlage the divinity of Lincoln will be forced to fight a pack of wolves before NHL playoff games.....(Rednecks+starving wolves+ice= one amused audience).
10. all army cooks would be vegan......(the Roman army was vegitarian)
11. Sen. Russ Fiengold would be tossed into Potomach river by a group of lobbiest every time he tried to bring up campainge finance reform.
12. Bush would only be allowed to have 12 secret service agents, who could only carry aluminum bats wrapped in nerf.....unless he overthrows the republic and becomes emperor, in which case Bush is allowed to have 5 regiments of marines dressed in gold and purple silk.
13. During a ML baseball game the crowd would be allowed to release a hungry tiger onto the field anytime they wanted.
14. Every public library would have a porn section.
15. Rummie would go to Iraq to ask the army to grant him a triumph, the army would then put him on trial for corruption and have him torn apart by 2 humvees. The triumph would then me granted to Colin Powell just for the hell of it.
16. Micheal Jackson would be allowed to run his own orphanage.
17. The guy who ran FEMA during Katrina would have his house burnt down and be exiled to the North Slope of Alaska, along with Martha Stewart and those Enron guys.
18. After trying to cover up Justices' boobs, John Ashcroft would be put on trial for "corrupting public morals through the surpression of public nudity"....he will be found guilt and promptly thrown off the nearest cliff.
19. Amnesty International will rebuke the US goverment for nailing Al-queda terrorists to crosses that have not been sanded that causes the victims to suffer from an "inhumane number of slivers". In response the US goverment will begin to subcontract out to Haliburton on all it's crusifixtion related needs.
20. Canada would present an annual "gift" of 2500 crates of perscription medicines and 10,000 kegs of beer to honor their "friendship with the peace loving, non-Canada invading, peoples of America". The American people with thank them by building them an aquaduct.

[sherborne]

Just as a point of inteterest i think that America is much like Germany. Its just that America has been lucky (i.e. surrounded by Mexico/ Indians) whereas Germany was surrounded by Britain, France etc. If you think about it America wouldnt be where it is in the world where it is today had it been in europe. It would have been beaten down by Britain and France. Germany tried many of the policies undertaken by America but didnt get away with them because there was no one their to stop america. All America had to contend with were some nomadic Mexican farmers and an ill equiped army in the Louisiana state purchase and a band of nomadic tribesman: American Indians. Whereas Germany had the might of the royal navy and the might of the French army to contend with. Just a thought neway

[KG]

Eynon81 wrote:
12. Bush would only be allowed to have 12 secret service agents, who could only carry aluminum bats wrapped in nerf.....unless he overthrows the republic and becomes emperor, in which case Bush is allowed to have 5 regiments of marines dressed in gold and purple silk.

Hell Yeah. Praetorian Guard.

sherborne wrote: Just as a point of inteterest i think that America is much like Germany. Its just that America has been lucky (i.e. surrounded by Mexico/ Indians) whereas Germany was surrounded by Britain, France etc. If you think about it America wouldnt be where it is in the world where it is today had it been in europe. It would have been beaten down by Britain and France. Germany tried many of the policies undertaken by America but didnt get away with them because there was no one their to stop america. All America had to contend with were some nomadic Mexican farmers and an ill equiped army in the Louisiana state purchase and a band of nomadic tribesman: American Indians. Whereas Germany had the might of the royal navy and the might of the French army to contend with. Just a thought neway
Or it could be the other way around and there would be no more Germany, France, or Britain.

[Rilzic]

OP was good stuff LOL

[eynon]

Eynon81 wrote: Here's what I've come up with so far:
1. Saddam Hussien would be forced to fight a Grizzly Bear during the half-time of the Super Bowl.
2. All Americans would have recieve free olive oil, bread, and health-care, paid for by the "generosity" of the Japanese and Saudi Arabian goverments.
3. Homeless Katrina Victims would be relocated to spacious new houses in our Iraqi colony of Chenneyopolis.
4. As the Senates' oldest member Ted Stevens would be allowed to have a big stick, which he could bang on the Senate floor when-ever he wanted.
5. We'd all have Jury duty at least 3 times a year......(Roman Juries had 51 members)
6. abortions would be legal up to the 68th trimester, fetus would not be considered viable until they either entered boot-camp or started paying taxes.
7. Instead of US factory jobs being outsourced to China, Chinese would be imported to US factories.
8. Every day a total of 30 doves, 12 sheep, and 2 bulls would be sacrificed at the Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson momuments. The park-rangers who ran the sites would be ordained priests.
9. Any southerners who refused to ackowlage the divinity of Lincoln will be forced to fight a pack of wolves before NHL playoff games.....(Rednecks+starving wolves+ice= one amused audience).
10. all army cooks would be vegan......(the Roman army was vegitarian)
11. Sen. Russ Fiengold would be tossed into Potomach river by a group of lobbiest every time he tried to bring up campainge finance reform.
12. Bush would only be allowed to have 12 secret service agents, who could only carry aluminum bats wrapped in nerf.....unless he overthrows the republic and becomes emperor, in which case Bush is allowed to have 5 regiments of marines dressed in gold and purple silk.
13. During a ML baseball game the crowd would be allowed to release a hungry tiger onto the field anytime they wanted.
14. Every public library would have a porn section.
15. Rummie would go to Iraq to ask the army to grant him a triumph, the army would then put him on trial for corruption and have him torn apart by 2 humvees. The triumph would then me granted to Colin Powell just for the hell of it.
16. Micheal Jackson would be allowed to run his own orphanage.
17. The guy who ran FEMA during Katrina would have his house burnt down and be exiled to the North Slope of Alaska, along with Martha Stewart and those Enron guys.
18. After trying to cover up Justices' boobs, John Ashcroft would be put on trial for "corrupting public morals through the surpression of public nudity"....he will be found guilt and promptly thrown off the nearest cliff.
19. Amnesty International will rebuke the US goverment for nailing Al-queda terrorists to crosses that have not been sanded and therefore causes the victims to suffer from an "inhumane number of slivers". In response the US goverment will begin to subcontract out to Haliburton on all it's crusifixtion related needs.
20. Canada would present an annual "gift" of 2500 crates of perscription medicines and 10,000 kegs of beer to honor their "friendship with the peace loving, non-Canada invading, peoples of America". The American people will thank them by building them an aquaduct.

[Gaea]

Dinner would be served on the floor and people would eat with their fingers while reclyning on big pillows.

Baths would be communal. Instead of soap, olive oil is poured over the skin and then scraped off along with the sweat and grime into little jars and then sold as eu d'cologne to high class women.

[sherborne]

KG wrote: Eynon81 wrote:
12. Bush would only be allowed to have 12 secret service agents, who could only carry aluminum bats wrapped in nerf.....unless he overthrows the republic and becomes emperor, in which case Bush is allowed to have 5 regiments of marines dressed in gold and purple silk.

Hell Yeah. Praetorian Guard.

sherborne wrote: Just as a point of inteterest i think that America is much like Germany. Its just that America has been lucky (i.e. surrounded by Mexico/ Indians) whereas Germany was surrounded by Britain, France etc. If you think about it America wouldnt be where it is in the world where it is today had it been in europe. It would have been beaten down by Britain and France. Germany tried many of the policies undertaken by America but didnt get away with them because there was no one their to stop america. All America had to contend with were some nomadic Mexican farmers and an ill equiped army in the Louisiana state purchase and a band of nomadic tribesman: American Indians. Whereas Germany had the might of the royal navy and the might of the French army to contend with. Just a thought neway
Or it could be the other way around and there would be no more Germany, France, or Britain.

alas so

[eynon]

Moot wrote: Dinner would be served on the floor and people would eat with their fingers while reclyning on big pillows.

Baths would be communal. Instead of soap, olive oil is poured over the skin and then scraped off along with the sweat and grime into little jars and then sold as eu d'cologne to high class women.

kinky :wink:

[Jehan]

Europe would be completely subdued with the sole exception of Germany, because all the legions of the USA still could not defeat a bunch of ragtag Germans.

[KG]

The holy land would be conquered and peace will resume once again. All countries with oil would recieve notices saying that all the oil in th world belongs to the Americans and if it is not turned over soon, your country will be conquered.

[cap'n queasy]

The Roman army was vegetarian?
Wow, you learn something new everyday. :lol:

Weird.

[cap'n queasy]

sherborne wrote: Just as a point of inteterest i think that America is much like Germany. Its just that America has been lucky (i.e. surrounded by Mexico/ Indians) whereas Germany was surrounded by Britain, France etc. If you think about it America wouldnt be where it is in the world where it is today had it been in europe. It would have been beaten down by Britain and France. Germany tried many of the policies undertaken by America but didnt get away with them because there was no one their to stop america. All America had to contend with were some nomadic Mexican farmers and an ill equiped army in the Louisiana state purchase and a band of nomadic tribesman: American Indians. Whereas Germany had the might of the royal navy and the might of the French army to contend with. Just a thought neway

That "band" of nomadic tribesmen could have and did whoop any European army of that day. You're talking about millions of some the finest warriors who ever lived. Modern American Special Forces techniques were developed by copying the tactics of the Algonquin natives in New England and Canada, who were not nomads, but highly sophisticated (The US constitution is influenced by their tribal charters), Modern warfare is based largely on these tactics because it is far superior to the European tactics which consisted of walking up to the enemy en masse and firing on command.

The Comanche, the finest light cavary to walk the earth dominated the Spanish for over 400 years in Mexico and Texas.

They let just enough live to breed more horses to steal the next year. It wasn't until Travis developed the pistol technique featuring the .44 Navy Colt revolver utilized by the Texas Ranger regiments that anyone could defeat them.

Not only did the US fight off the European powers, they were left to contend with millions of natives who were enraged by the policies of the European monarchies in the New World.

If The US was located in Europe the remnants of the French and Germans would probably running a few casinos but not much else. :lol:

[Bobicito]

I'm not to sure about that last line there. Let say the US was like Rome and controlled all this territory. Would it be able to keep it all intact? Hell no.

The Romans couldn't do it and neither can or will the US.

Besides people get pissed off enough when the US trys to act like we rule the world because we are free and that kind of bull-s**t. WE have a democracy and ancient Rome was similar to that, in that they had a Senate that made the decisions.

If the US had been in Europe I think things would be different. Would we have accsess to all the resources that we have now? Probably not. Thats what makes America. Are economy. The fact that we are an economic powerhouse would decide if the US was to be a power and it does.

[cap'n queasy]

We weren't an economic powerhouse until the 1900's.

[Bobicito]

Yes but that doesn't change the fact that we still are.

[XiangYu]

Moot wrote: Dinner would be served on the floor and people would eat with their fingers while reclyning on big pillows.

Baths would be communal. Instead of soap, olive oil is poured over the skin and then scraped off along with the sweat and grime into little jars and then sold as eu d'cologne to high class women. Bleh!! :!oops:

[Ellron]

The roman army was mostly vegetarians during the Republican period not the imperialistic period though.

[bob.appleyard]

Only the emperor was allowed to wear purple, in part due to its prohibitive costs.

[bob.appleyard]

cap'n queasy wrote: The Roman army was vegetarian?
Wow, you learn something new everyday. :lol:

Weird.

The whole Roman empire was mostly vegetarian. Bread was their staple. It was the "barbarians" over the Rhine who mostly ate meat.

Ellron wrote: The roman army was mostly vegetarians during the Republican period not the imperialistic period though.

That's partly because after the Third Century Crisis "barbarians" started becoming "Romans".

[cap'n queasy]

That makes sense. Interesting.