Political Crossfire Forums

Wolverine · Joined: 15 Jul 2005 Posts: 10977 Location: Podunk, Colorado

I think this is the right forum...

My parents have some friends on the other side of town, a man and wife. The wife moved to El Salvador just over a month ago. Before leaving she told my mom, as well as other members of the community, why she was leaving her husband because she didnt love him anymore. She also left her will with my mom, and said to never give it to her husband.

The husband keeps asking my mom what she knows about his wife with regard to her leaving and whether or not she will return. It would appear she told everyone but her husband that she was moving to her native country, not returning because she no longer loves him. My mom is stuck in a place that she does not want to me, the middle. The only time the wife (so-called friend) has called my mom is when she wants something.

I think the "stuff will hit the fan" either way, sooooooo should she give the will to the husband? Should she tell the husband everything? The man is 75 and she left him while he was in poor health.

Thanks,
PGA

BastionOfSanity · Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 9:07 pm Post subject:

Yes, that woman is a b****.
Better yet, destroy the will.

The Grandmaster · Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 9:14 pm Post subject:

Just have her tell the guy.

Wolverine · Joined: 15 Jul 2005 Posts: 10977 Location: Podunk, Colorado

TheGrandmaster1 wrote: Just have her tell the guy.
She told my mom a lot of things that she has never told her huspand. So thats why he deosn' know a lot of things.....
He doesn't know that she she bought a house, he thinks that she is just renting it. Whats rather interesting is that the day she was able to get the money from the husbands retirement, she left for El Salvador. :think:

Our main concern is if my mom tells him, that the stuff will hit the fan, and they will both dislike us. Because my mom would tell the husband something that the wife said not to, and the husband may get mad because of the "shock".
But if we do nothing, then well, we are dishonest by omission to him.

My dad wants to give to him the will, becuase he in moraly entitled to it. But that presents its own problems, it is in Spanish, and if he translates it he will find that he is not in the will at all. Just as the wife told my mom.

BastionOfSanity wrote: Yes, that woman is a b****.
Better yet, destroy the will.
Thats what she wants.... but we feel (as well as the state of Colorado) that he is entitled to it.

What to do, what to do, what to do.... :-|

TheGirlNextDoor · Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 22608

I would contact an attorney, if I were your mother. Tell them the situation and hand it over to them to handle.

I would not be stuck in the middle of such a nightmare.

Can't stand **** people.

Onevote · Joined: 18 Sep 2004 Posts: 1688 Location: Tampa, Florida

ProGunAmerican wrote: TheGrandmaster1 wrote: Just have her tell the guy.
She told my mom a lot of things that she has never told her huspand. So thats why he deosn' know a lot of things.....
He doesn't know that she she bought a house, he thinks that she is just renting it. Whats rather interesting is that the day she was able to get the money from the husbands retirement, she left for El Salvador. :think:

Our main concern is if my mom tells him, that the stuff will hit the fan, and they will both dislike us. Because my mom would tell the husband something that the wife said not to, and the husband may get mad because of the "shock".
But if we do nothing, then well, we are dishonest by omission to him.

My dad wants to give to him the will, becuase he in moraly entitled to it. But that presents its own problems, it is in Spanish, and if he translates it he will find that he is not in the will at all. Just as the wife told my mom.

BastionOfSanity wrote: Yes, that woman is a b****.
Better yet, destroy the will.
Thats what she wants.... but we feel (as well as the state of Colorado) that he is entitled to it.

What to do, what to do, what to do.... :-| The whole thing s*cks. But I would think if she had ever had feeling for the guy she wouldn't want anything bad for him. Since it appears otherwise, I would think she may just be a POS and give the will along with what I know to him.

Wolverine · Joined: 15 Jul 2005 Posts: 10977 Location: Podunk, Colorado

TheGirlNextDoor wrote: I would contact an attorney, if I were your mother. Tell them the situation and hand it over to them to handle.

I would not be stuck in the middle of such a nightmare.

Can't stand **** people.
Very good point. Wouldn't you have to pay them though?

Quote: The whole thing s*cks. But I would think if she had ever had feeling for the guy she wouldn't want anything bad for him. Since it appears otherwise, I would think she may just be a POS and give the will along with what I know to him.
She really wasn't very kind to him. Leaving the will with us, leaving him the day she can get the money, wanting him to buy her out on the property, etc.

One other very odd thing:

He was down in El Salvador a while back (I think ten years or so), and his wife wanted him to leave. But he wouldn't, so he began to have digestive problems. Ok, that can happen, nothinh odd right? He wanted to leave with her this time, and he began to have the same problems.....
Odd, very odd indeed.

Maybe just burning it would be a good idea..... :think:

Ek0nomik · Joined: 17 Jul 2005 Posts: 2065 Location: La Fleur

In all honesty nobody can really judge the situation. You know more about these two individuals than we do.

If the man is nice, give him the will and tell him the situation.

Ek0nomik · Joined: 17 Jul 2005 Posts: 2065 Location: La Fleur

Also: If he gets mad at anybody in your family, explain to him that he should chill the f*ck out. You guys had nothing to do with it, you're doing the correct thing by explaining the situation to him. As soon as you explain it, get out of the door. It no longer concerns you. He's the one who married this woman.

Ananda Lee · Joined: 05 Jul 2005 Posts: 69

Why don't you just tell him what you're telling us? Say you don't really know the best way to tell it to him, and that you wish you didn't have to decide any of this, but that you're doing what you hope is right. Then tell him what he wants to know. Don't make it sound better or worse than it is and don't tell him what you think about his wife or the situation. Just give him the information with respect, and tell him if there's anything you can do your family will be there to help.

Sailor Moon · Joined: 22 Sep 2005 Posts: 2782 Location: O-town, Florida

Tell youre mom that if hes bothering her about it too much, and she wants nothing more to do with him, then she should get a restraining order for harassment/ stalking, you name it.

If this woman left her husband, there could be many reasons for this. Domestic violence could be one of these. For a woman to move OUT OF THE COUNTRY with explicit instructions to not let her husband know where she is- is a giant leap from moving across town.

Shes clearly afraid he will find out. Dont let him find out. Honduras isnt like America. This woman was clearly out of options.

PS- whats in the will thats so important to be so well safeguarded? Can your mom keep this in an attorneys office files, or a safe deposit box? The woman probably had other plans in her "escape" that your mom was not aware of. Please exercise caution with this man, esp. where youre mom is concerned.

Wolverine · Joined: 15 Jul 2005 Posts: 10977 Location: Podunk, Colorado

Sailor Moon wrote: Tell youre mom that if hes bothering her about it too much, and she wants nothing more to do with him, then she should get a restraining order for harassment/ stalking, you name it.
He definatly isn't bothering us or anything. He hasn't mentioned the will in a while, but he has brought up his wfie several times. My mom told him the she/we can't be in the middle......

Quote: If this woman left her husband, there could be many reasons for this. Domestic violence could be one of these. For a woman to move OUT OF THE COUNTRY with explicit instructions to not let her husband know where she is- is a giant leap from moving across town.

Shes clearly afraid he will find out. Dont let him find out. Honduras isnt like America. This woman was clearly out of options.
I don't think there was any abuse, or she would have mentioned it to my mom. She's been married four times, so its not too surpising that she left as soon as she got the money. She has a lot of family in El Salvador, and she wanted to help the earthquake victims down there. I think that was an after thought though.....

Quote: PS- whats in the will thats so important to be so well safeguarded? Can your mom keep this in an attorneys office files, or a safe deposit box? The woman probably had other plans in her "escape" that your mom was not aware of. Please exercise caution with this man, esp. where youre mom is concerned.
We are just trying to decide whether or not to tell him, I think we are favoring to idea of telling him. :-|
But we have decided against giving him the will.

Thanks. :-D

Quote: Why don't you just tell him what you're telling us? Say you don't really know the best way to tell it to him, and that you wish you didn't have to decide any of this, but that you're doing what you hope is right. Then tell him what he wants to know. Don't make it sound better or worse than it is and don't tell him what you think about his wife or the situation. Just give him the information with respect, and tell him if there's anything you can do your family will be there to help.
Yeah, I think are favoring that direction.
I wonder if Christmas dinner would be a good time. :-| :lol:

Quote: Also: If he gets mad at anybody in your family, explain to him that he should chill the f*ck out. You guys had nothing to do with it, you're doing the correct thing by explaining the situation to him. As soon as you explain it, get out of the door. It no longer concerns you. He's the one who married this woman.
We would have to tone that down a bit. :lol: