Political Crossfire Forums

F'losrix

This is an extension of the "Real Life Situation" thread in poll form. I'd like to hear from any heterosexual perusing this forum whether or not they have in the past or would in the future have second thoughts about inviting their gay friends to a private function like a wedding, graduation, anniversary party, birthday milestones etc. and why. What excuse would you give them if pressed for an answer for why they weren't invited?

Edit (added after the first two responses): As an example of something that might make a person pause, consider whether your reaction would change if the event included a band or DJ with dancing - are you prepared to deal with any potential fallout if your gay friends decide to share a slow dance together in front of your aged aunties and uncles, whose tolerance level you're unsure about?

I'll make an honest effort not to get offended by honest answers - but do expect me to pose some pointed questions regarding your responses - fair warning.

Melchior · Joined: 02 Oct 2004 Posts: 9476 Location: Palm Beach

No good reason not to. My family isn't homophobic at all, and we have gay relatives.

To me this question is like: would you consider excluding anyone on the guest list based on gender or ethnicity?

TheGirlNextDoor · Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 22608

I wouldn't hesitate and invite all my friends. I cannot imagine people excluding someone they call a friend, based upon heterosexuality or homosexuality. :!?:

John Galt · Joined: 04 May 2004 Posts: 21224 Location: Minnesota

I have gay people coming to my wedding. Well, they are on the list to beinvited, and will be, its just so far off we havn't invited anyone yet. And one of them is in the wedding actually. They'll be fine so long as theydon't talk to my grandma, who is cordial but still thinks its wrong. I never knew this about her but after i vistedher in thehospital (replacedher hip) well I found out she harborssome racist feelings. Why? Because there were black orderlies and she felt it necessary to go over with me all the expressions we can't use (I've never heard of half of them, nor heard her utter any of them before)... I was shocked, my aunt was shocked, and my dad was telling her to be quiet because she, like all old people, shouts.

Protostar · Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 12:41 pm Post subject:

I don't have any gay friends so the question is moot.

F'losrix · Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 1:17 pm Post subject:

Melchior wrote: No good reason not to. My family isn't homophobic at all, and we have gay relatives.

To me this question is like: would you consider excluding anyone on the guest list based on gender or ethnicity?

Some people would, especially with regard to ethnicity. While that kind of prejudice is fading, we're no where near that kind of acceptance of gay men & lesbians in society - especially as couples. Some people who wouldn't think twice about inviting an unpartnered gay person might still be very uncomfortable with the thought of inviting a gay couple, due to the potential of their homosexuality being more obvious and thus a greater source of controversy among their guests.

Ugly, but true.

John Galt · Joined: 04 May 2004 Posts: 21224 Location: Minnesota

Skeptical Mystic wrote: Melchior wrote: No good reason not to. My family isn't homophobic at all, and we have gay relatives.

To me this question is like: would you consider excluding anyone on the guest list based on gender or ethnicity?

Some people would, especially with regard to ethnicity. While that kind of prejudice is fading, we're no where near that kind of acceptance of gay men & lesbians in society - especially as couples. Some people who wouldn't think twice about inviting an unpartnered gay person might still be very uncomfortable with the thought of inviting a gay couple, due to the potential of their homosexuality being more obvious and thus a greater source of controversy among their guests.

Ugly, but true.

Well that is true. I don't have any gay couples on my list... because I don't know any. The gay guys I know who would be invited are, well, sluts.

StrangerWitCandy · Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 5453 Location: Fairfax, VA

Protostar wrote: I don't have any gay friends so the question is moot.

then why bother commenting?

PrinceJunius · Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 2:29 pm Post subject:

Well, most of my friends are gay, so I guess I'd have to invite a whole bunch of them for a private party. For my 13th birthday party last year, most of the people who came were gay, but there was no dancing or anything like that. We just went bowling, and then screwed around in the video arcade until it got dark.

F'losrix · Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 2:56 pm Post subject:

John Galt wrote: Skeptical Mystic wrote: Melchior wrote: No good reason not to. My family isn't homophobic at all, and we have gay relatives.

To me this question is like: would you consider excluding anyone on the guest list based on gender or ethnicity?

Some people would, especially with regard to ethnicity. While that kind of prejudice is fading, we're no where near that kind of acceptance of gay men & lesbians in society - especially as couples. Some people who wouldn't think twice about inviting an unpartnered gay person might still be very uncomfortable with the thought of inviting a gay couple, due to the potential of their homosexuality being more obvious and thus a greater source of controversy among their guests.

Ugly, but true.

Well that is true. I don't have any gay couples on my list... because I don't know any. The gay guys I know who would be invited are, well, sluts.

Will you be allowing them to bring a 'date'? :wink:

John Galt · Joined: 04 May 2004 Posts: 21224 Location: Minnesota

Skeptical Mystic wrote: John Galt wrote: Skeptical Mystic wrote: Melchior wrote: No good reason not to. My family isn't homophobic at all, and we have gay relatives.

To me this question is like: would you consider excluding anyone on the guest list based on gender or ethnicity?

Some people would, especially with regard to ethnicity. While that kind of prejudice is fading, we're no where near that kind of acceptance of gay men & lesbians in society - especially as couples. Some people who wouldn't think twice about inviting an unpartnered gay person might still be very uncomfortable with the thought of inviting a gay couple, due to the potential of their homosexuality being more obvious and thus a greater source of controversy among their guests.

Ugly, but true.

Well that is true. I don't have any gay couples on my list... because I don't know any. The gay guys I know who would be invited are, well, sluts.

Will you be allowing them to bring a 'date'? :wink:

Yes. Of course, if I didn't my better half would flip out. She umm, well... she has a Hillary/Obama 2008 shirt. :lol: However, two of the gay guys I know are 'bis' and one is married (to a woman) so... yeah, I don't know if that counts. But one of the guys in the wedding flirted at me (sounds strangetosay but I didn't flirt back so well... it ain't "with") the few times I've met him (from her hometown, I don't go there much as it's in the middle of nowhere, aka, North Dakota). But whatever, I don't care, and I doubt many in either family would, aside from my grandma andmy mother (but she will just looked pissed off anyway as she apparently doesn't like the idea of me getting married).

jimmyz · Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 4:24 pm Post subject:

I would have no problem inviting the gay folks so long as they did all their drinking and dancing in the closet.
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[running down the street ducking 70 MPH Striesand records being chucked at my head]

John Galt · Joined: 04 May 2004 Posts: 21224 Location: Minnesota

jimmyz wrote: I would have no problem inviting the gay folks so long as they did all their drinking and dancing in the closet.

Why?

jimmyz · Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 5:31 pm Post subject:

John Galt wrote: jimmyz wrote: I would have no problem inviting the gay folks so long as they did all their drinking and dancing in the closet.

Why?

=Lame attempt at humor...Maybe should have posted in the Gay/Lesbian Lounge forum...Or better yet not at all? 8)

Seriously - I have lived,worked,and socialized with gay folks for 41 years now and have never considered their sexuality before extending an invitation to anything.I would however consider my guests proclivity to wear a dress and lipstick with full beard in public if I were having a birthday party for my 72 year old Uncle from Hogstich,Alabama.

John Galt · Joined: 04 May 2004 Posts: 21224 Location: Minnesota

jimmyz wrote: John Galt wrote: jimmyz wrote: I would have no problem inviting the gay folks so long as they did all their drinking and dancing in the closet.

Why?

=Lame attempt at humor...Maybe should have posted in the Gay/Lesbian Lounge forum...Or better yet not at all? 8)

Seriously - I have lived,worked,and socialized with gay folks for 41 years now and have never considered their sexuality before extending an invitation to anything.I would however consider my guests proclivity to wear a dress and lipstick with full beard in public if I were having a birthday party for my 72 year old Uncle from Hogstich,Alabama.

:lol: Fair enough.

rainidame · Joined: 22 Apr 2005 Posts: 685 Location: in the dark

No, I wouldn't invite them to a general gathering. Only one wherein I knew that the parties involved would be tolerant of each other. . . otherwise I would be concerned that something exactly like what happened to you and your partner would happen. I wouldn't be able to be everywhere at every minute. Something would happen, folks would go home and fret, I wouldn't hear about till it had gone round a number of times. By then the damage would have escalated, I'd have to apologize for someone I had no control over, I'd have to reprimand the offender. . . . No, if I couldn't be sure the group was 95% predictably tolerant, I would have two parties. . . One for the intolerant to last a couple of hours, then a second one to last till whenever for the tolerant ones.

Israel · Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 2188

No, I would not invite them.

ToonArmyIsComing · Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 5888 Location: Ontario

Israel wrote: No, I would not invite them.

Any particular reasons?

SweetJeebusChrist · Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 1:12 am Post subject:

I would feel morally obligated to invite any gay friends I had, if I had any. I might still be concerned about how the cultures present at the gathering would mix, though--I would want a violent reaction.

Esin · Joined: 08 Jun 2005 Posts: 1164 Location: Florida

I don't currently have any gay friends, but if I did, I would invite them, if only to rattle my ultraconservative family.