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Soldier of Humanity
Joined: 05 Mar 2005
Posts: 975
Location: The Royal City
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| Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 5:27 pm Post subject: for all the heterosexuals |
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| if you began to feel attracted, sexually and emotionally, to some one of your same gender yet you were still attracted to members of the opposite gender in general what would you do?(assuming the person your attracted to is attracted to his/her own gender)(also assume that you are single) |
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Locke25
Joined: 12 Mar 2005
Posts: 3620
Location: Georgia
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 12:38 am Post subject: |
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| tell yourself that it was fake and try to shake it off... definitely. |
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d357r0y3r
Joined: 07 Dec 2004
Posts: 539
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:48 am Post subject: |
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| What a hard question. I guess I would just look at heterosexual pornography until I snapped out of it, or better yet, hook up with as many girls as I could. I wouldn't put it beyond me, though. I mean, I've had some pretty sick thoughts, and I still do. I'm pretty sure everyone does. |
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John Galt
Joined: 04 May 2004
Posts: 20656
Location: Minnesota
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 3:40 am Post subject: |
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| Other: Wouldn't happen. |
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Soldier of Humanity
Joined: 05 Mar 2005
Posts: 975
Location: The Royal City
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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John Galt wrote: Other: Wouldn't happen.
asume it did just for the sake of argument |
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Jay2014
Joined: 31 May 2005
Posts: 1243
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:24 pm Post subject: |
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| i would assume it wanst real, simply because ive never tried to bury things of that nature, and my age. i think people (at least those who dont repress feelings of this sort) have a firm grasp on their sexual orientation by the time their in their early-mid teens. |
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F'losrix
Joined: 17 Nov 2004
Posts: 7977
Location: Michigan, Washtenaw County
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:56 pm Post subject: |
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d357r0y3r wrote: What a hard question. I guess I would just look at heterosexual pornography until I snapped out of it, or better yet, hook up with as many girls as I could.
Which is exactly what some gay people do when they first start to grapple with the issue. Some even go so far as getting married, with the belief that it will somehow turn them 'straight'. Eventually they realize that nothing they try is going to make that same-sex attraction go away or overpower it.
Were I straight, I'd have answered other. Since I'm gay, I haven't voted. I think it's important to sort out one's sexual orientation before pursuing a relationship with persons of either gender - I subscribe to the view that true bisexuals are few and far between and that sexual behavior is a very different thing from sexual orientation.
The following is intended for no one in particular:
If someone is having feelings that lead them to question their presumed sexual orientation, my advice is to ask yourself the following questions and then be sure to give yourself an honest answer:
Is this a one-time infatuation with one specific person, and is the sexual attraction very much secondary to other factors that you like about the person? Or is it something you've experienced repeatedly for several people, where you felt the sexual attraction before really getting to know them?
Are the bulk of your fantasies about members of your own sex or the opposite sex?
Do you find yourself inserting someone of the same gender into your fantasies about the opposite sex?
Do you find that you have to make an effort to nurture, prod or otherwise conjure up the feelings and fantasies you have for members of the opposite sex while the attractions you feel toward those of your own gender seem to come from nowhere and take you by surprise?
Hopefully the answers to those questions will clarify the issue.
Some gay people really fight their sexual orientation because they think it means giving up their one shot at happiness in life, as if getting married and raising a family will automatically provide that when the divorce rate tells us otherwise. Sure, being gay isn't easy, but I'm not convinced that being heterosexual is a ticket to paradise, either. Realizing that one is gay can bring a lot of heartache, but would you rather live a life of slow, deadening torture, pretending to be someone you're not? Because that's the choice one faces, very generally speaking, upon realizing one is homosexual. |
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Protostar
Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 9630
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Where's the commit suicide option? |
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rainidame
Joined: 22 Apr 2005
Posts: 685
Location: in the dark
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Been there done that. I handled it with the attitude, "IF, I was guy, I could make you so happy. Oh well. You'll (or I'll) find the right guy someday." And on I went to the next thing in my day. But I guess as I am thinking about it, I never thought it in a sexual way, more that men didn't seem to understand what a gem they were disregarding and disrespecting with their "manly" behavior. How I could do a better job of loving her, not having sex with her. That just wasn't what I was thinking. |
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Soldier of Humanity
Joined: 05 Mar 2005
Posts: 975
Location: The Royal City
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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Skeptical Mystic wrote: d357r0y3r wrote: What a hard question. I guess I would just look at heterosexual pornography until I snapped out of it, or better yet, hook up with as many girls as I could.
Since I'm gay, I haven't voted.
switch the question around |
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F'losrix
Joined: 17 Nov 2004
Posts: 7977
Location: Michigan, Washtenaw County
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| Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 9:31 am Post subject: |
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Soldier of Humanity wrote: Skeptical Mystic wrote: d357r0y3r wrote: What a hard question. I guess I would just look at heterosexual pornography until I snapped out of it, or better yet, hook up with as many girls as I could.
Since I'm gay, I haven't voted.
switch the question around
I'd still answer 'other' and go through the process of self-examination I described above. |
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Jezebel
Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 390
Location: Houston, TX
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| Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 11:46 am Post subject: |
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I had a crush on my best friend (who is female) a few years ago. I told her about it and there hasn't been any weird feeling between us and we are still best friends to this day. I don't still feel attracted to her and we've kissed many times, mostly to make jaws drop and not because of anything sexual. We're both just very open minded and comfortable around each other.
If I were truly attracted to another woman, which I have been before on more than one occasion, it would depend on the situation, the person, my dating status etc. If it happened now I'd enjoy it as a crush and nothing more and stay with my boyfriend of many years (but I'd tell him for his own entertainment). If I were single and it was the real thing, I would persue it most definetly. |
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Valdimar
Joined: 12 Dec 2004
Posts: 711
Location: San Francisco
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 1:22 am Post subject: |
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| I'm gay and I found myself to be attracted to a lesbian on a couple of occasions. I was more attracted to the personality of these girls rather than in a sexual manner. |
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John Galt
Joined: 04 May 2004
Posts: 20656
Location: Minnesota
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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I used to carry on a relationship with a lesbian that was only sexual (there wasno loving thing going on... we were good freinds though). She was pretty good looking for a lesbian (from a heterosexual male's point of view) and a little hornball. Of course, it always seemed odd that she'd roll over before I could even have the chance to! I felt used! :lol: No really,good times. We were verygood freinds and it was just sex. Ahh, high school.
I don't know if she was really attracted to me. She wasn't disgusted by me... although it seemed, like I said, as though when we were done she had enough. I just wanted to cuddle! :lol: No really, strange but true. |
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Melchior
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 9263
Location: Palm Beach
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| Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 9:39 pm Post subject: |
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John Galt wrote: She was pretty good looking for a lesbian
Huh? :? |
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John Galt
Joined: 04 May 2004
Posts: 20656
Location: Minnesota
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| Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 12:06 am Post subject: |
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Melchior wrote: John Galt wrote: She was pretty good looking for a lesbian
Huh? :?
Yeah yeah we all have seen porno (of course, that's just figure of speech!) but nearly every lesbian I have ever known (which I'd put about 25, at least) has been physically unattractive. |
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Melchior
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 9263
Location: Palm Beach
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| Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 12:27 am Post subject: |
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| Maybe in Minnesota... |
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John Galt
Joined: 04 May 2004
Posts: 20656
Location: Minnesota
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| Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 3:29 am Post subject: |
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Melchior wrote: Maybe in Minnesota...
I've lived in 8different states. All the same. Only place where they are consitently hot is on TV. |
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Soldier of Humanity
Joined: 05 Mar 2005
Posts: 975
Location: The Royal City
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| Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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John Galt wrote: Melchior wrote: Maybe in Minnesota...
I've lived in 8different states. All the same. Only place where they are consitently hot is on TV.
on tv every one is hot, unless it is a focal point |
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Gryff1nd0r
Joined: 12 Nov 2004
Posts: 2277
Location: Cambridge, MA
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| Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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soldierofchrist wrote: Melchior wrote: Maybe in Minnesota...
Hm, the only lesbians I know play women's hockey. And they're not attractive, but I don't really find lesbians attractive anyway.
Lesbians can be attractive. I know a few who get guys asking about them. |
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